I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
He keeps bees of course he's weird
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
