My hand turned me down
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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