Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Randomize
