i think my tv is drunk
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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