I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
