i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
3 2 1 whiskey
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
