You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
