pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
