they said they heard you say put it in my butt
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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