She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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