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• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared

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• (813): View more from Florida

  There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it

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• (818): View more from California

  I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie

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• (334): View more from Alabama

  She threw up in the hot tub how's your night

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  27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup

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• (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  Well... this vagina won't eat itself

  (1-306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina

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• (907): View more from Alaska

  I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.

  (907): View more from Alaska

  I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.

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• (970): View more from Colorado

  Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.

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  These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities

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• (775): View more from Nevada

  Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.

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• (901): View more from Tennessee

  its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages

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• (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"

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• (954): View more from Florida

  Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday

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• (252): View more from North Carolina

  McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human

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