This is evicking siegelnvs
This is fucking ridiculous*
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I want to be your penis for a week.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?