Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
We're using joints as your birthday candles
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.