I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
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Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
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He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra