I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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