Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
