guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize