Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
