Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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