you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize