Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
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