New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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