my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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