I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
