No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Randomize
