We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
