fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
