Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
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Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
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