I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
