heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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