Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
