we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Less talking, more tequila
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Randomize
