So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
