They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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