Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
