Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
