It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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