they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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