Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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