Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
