you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
