I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize