im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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