This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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