i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize
