Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I still have a little drunk in my system
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
