If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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