Umm I'm too high to move.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
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