i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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