Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I need to sanitize my soul.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter