And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good