This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
