I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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