I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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