just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
