sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
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