It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize