I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
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