whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
