laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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