it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
We named our party play list daddy issues
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
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Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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