Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
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