Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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