i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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