a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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