And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I have surprise drugs for everyone
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I can't trust your balls anymore.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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