when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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