Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
