she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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